


Give Me A Latté Your Love

by pictureperfectporcelain



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Carry On Countdown, Don't worry, M/M, SnowBaz, Youtuber AU, baz is a cranky barista, but there's still pining, coffee shop AU, simon and baz are youtubers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8727292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pictureperfectporcelain/pseuds/pictureperfectporcelain
Summary: Simon Snow is a youtuber with nearly two million subscribers. Baz Pitch is a vlogger who works at Starbucks - and, coincidentally, becomes obsessed with Simon Snow.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work from this fandom published here!!!. Validate me!!!

Simon screamed and fell off his chair as the mangled Teletubby flashed on his computer screen. “JESUS CHRIST,” he swore, not caring about the camera that was currently filming him. As a youtuber who made it his mission to play every video game under the sun, you would think he would be immune to jumpscares like that. But no, Simon Snow was afraid of virtually every scary game. “Who even came up with the idea to incorporate a cute group of children-show characters into a Slenderman game? If the person who thought it up is watching this, just know that you’re seriously disturbed.”

He heard Penny yelling at him in the background (“it’s two in the morning, some of us have to work tomorrow, so KEEP YOUR FUCKING VOICE DOWN”) and laughed.

“She loves me."

* * *

 

As a Starbucks barista, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch could tell you that Starbucks was indeed very overrated. Not that he would tell you that. He didn’t want to chase away all the customers just because he thought they were stupid for buying coffee from the place he worked at. 

He was been filming a vlog when the door opened with a chime. A totally stunning girl with the lightest blonde hair he had ever seen, knife cheekbones, and shiny apple lips stepped inside. It was enough to take his breath away.

Baz smirked at the camera. Would have been enough to take his breath away, more like it. That is, if he weren’t gay.

“I predict she’s going to order a pumpkin spice latte,” he whispered to the device. In his experience, girls who looked like that and went to Starbucks were generally pretty predictable.

The girl approached the counter without looking up from her phone. 

“Hello, what can I get for you?” he asked. 

The girl looked up from her phone long enough to smile shyly in what she probably thought was an alluring way. “Can I get two venti pumpkin spice lattes, please?” 

Without meaning to, Baz curiously blurted out, “Two?” 

“One for me and one for a friend.” 

“Oh, okay, coming right up.” 

Baz got to work with the coffees, wondering where this friend was. Generally, girls came to Starbucks in packs. When they were finished, he handed them to the girl and said, “That’ll be $11.30.” (He inwardly scoffed at how expensive it was.) 

Her phone rang. Smiling apologetically, she placed the coffees back on the counter and took the call. “Hello? Oh, for God’s sakes, Simon, yes I got your coffee. I’ll bring it over in literally 5 seconds if you’ll just chill-” 

Baz tried - and failed - to stop a smirk from sliding onto his face.

“-I don’t know what Slendytubbies are, nor do I care! Goodbye.” With that, she angrily punched the end-call button. 

She saw Baz’s smirk and turned pink. “Slendytubbies?” he said. 

Blondie huffed while she handed over the money to pay for the coffees. “Oh, it’s nothing. I was just talking to my friend. He's filming some stupid video of some stupid video game... he's really into video games. And coffee."

(The angry way she said it in didn't fully hide the fact that she was quite obviously embarrassed.) (The way she was rambling also didn't help.)

“Yes, well, have a good day,” said Baz, dismissing her. 

* * *

Agatha stormed into Simon and Penny’s flat and practically threw the cups of scalding drink all over them. “Here’s your stupid coffee!” 

Luckily, he grabbed it before she could hurl it across the room. Angry Agatha was no laughing matter. 

“Trouble at Starbucks?” asked Penny from the sofa, barely looking up from her book. 

“This idiot-” said Agatha, gesturing at Simon, “-decided to call me while I was ordering to confirm for the billionth time that I was getting his coffee, embarrassing me in front of the hot barista!” 

“Simon…” Penny shook her head. 

“I didn’t know she was talking to a hot barista!” 

“I was getting coffee, who did you think I was talking to?!” 

“Okay, but I didn’t know he was _hot_ …” 

She shook her head again, but a smile begun forming on her pretty face. “I forgive you. But I’m never getting you coffee again.” 

“Agatha...!” 

* * *

Starbucks was usually pretty full, but on this particular day, absolutely nothing was happening. Baz almost missed having customers to judge. 

He scrolled through his Facebook. Nothing caught his attention. Neither did anything on Youtube; no new videos from anyone he was subscribed to. He tried scrolling through the Trending videos, but still nothing. Baz sighed and put his head on the counter in defeat. 

Suddenly, he remembered the girl from earlier… and, more importantly, the friend she bought coffee for. She had called him Simon over the phone. Baz figured he might as well look him up. 

Looking up “Simon” got mostly stuff about Simon Cowell and a web show called Simon’s Cat. Nothing about a latte-loving (probably teenage) boy. When he searched “Simon slendytubbies,” a channel called “SimonSays” popped up. 

Baz cringed.

Grudgingly, he clicked on it. From what he could see, it was almost 100% gaming. The most recent video was titled “Simon Plays: Slendytubbies!” 

The video started with a really gorgeous teenage boy (curls like spun gold piled messily on his head, intense blue eyes, slightly tanned skin covered in freckles and moles, _not that Baz noticed_ ) falling off a chair and screaming, and another person yelling at him from another room. Baz instantly hit subscribe. As weird as the game was, he couldn’t focus on it, because he found himself observing Simon in the corner of the screen. Soon enough, the video was over. And even though all he had done the whole time was c̶r̶e̶e̶p̶i̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶t̶ watch Simon’s face as he played and ran commentary, he eagerly clicked on the next video. It looked like boredom was no longer going to be a problem.

* * *

“I GOT _SCP CONTAINMENT BREACH_!” 

Simon didn’t listen to Penny begging him not to play it. He had been waiting to get his hands on this game for a very long time, and nothing was going to stop him. 

“-you’re not even good at these games! Simon, you always get scared and sleep in until noon, please-” 

Simon just grinned at her. It was a shame that Agatha refused to go to Starbucks with him anymore, because he was going to need a lot of caffeine if he was going to stay up and play this. 

* * *

 At 5:00 AM on a Tuesday, most people were asleep, especially if they had work in the morning. Basilton Pitch, however, was not one of those people. He simply didn’t have the willpower to make himself go to bed. This was because Baz was officially a full blown Simon Snow addict. He was practically in love. 

Ever since he got home from work, he had been watching every single _SimonSays_ video there was. Did he have a problem? Yes. Did that mean he was going to stop obsessively watching his videos? Absolutely not. 

Baz didn’t even understand what was so great about this guy. He was actually very bad at most games, and swore like a sailor whenever he lost (which was often, because, as previously mentioned, he was bad at most games). Somehow, though, he made it work. And the fact that he was adorable certainly didn't hurt.

And, whispered his tired mind, single. 

Of course, that was ridiculous. He had watched nearly all the videos on his channel in one night, and there wasn’t any coming out video, or even a slight reference to being gay. In fact, Simon and the blonde from Starbucks - her name was Agatha - had dated. If that didn’t scream “straight,” what did? And even if he did like boys, that didn’t mean he would like Baz. 

Still. A boy could dream. 

There might be support groups for this… 

When 7:00 AM rolled around, Baz sighed and forced himself out of bed. Ever-so-slowly, he pulled on his clothing and grabbed his Starbucks apron. He was just now realizing how tired he was from staying up all night; it looked like this was going to be a very long day. 

The manager, didn’t say a word when Baz walked in, only did a double take at the dark circles under his eyes. “Good morning, Basil…” he said hesitantly.

(The manager was weird, honestly, and sort of creepy. His name was Davy and he had some sort of green fetish, so he always looked like a Christmas tree. He usually wound up looking like a Robin Hood mutation of a barista from the 1700’s. Plus, he insisted on calling himself “The Mage” and all his employees “the Mage’s men,” even Philippa and Lucy, the female baristas.) 

He didn’t reply, only walked past him and took his position at the counter. He picked up his phone the second the manager was gone, ready to start filming his newest video. It should have already been done, but he was obviously too busy to get anything done the night before. 

“So, I’m running on zero sleep today, and I’m trapped in Starbucks for the next 6 hours. That might seem fortunate, if you’re thinking that since I’m tired being in a coffee shop is good, except for the fact that everything in here is a sad and overpriced excuse for coffee,” he began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Baz meet at last.

_CRASH._

“For Pete’s sake, Basilton!” said Niall, the other barista currently on shift. “What are you doing?! Clean it up!”

Baz’s mind was tilting off axis as he ducked behind the counter to clean up the frappé he had just dropped. Niall was apologizing to the angry woman behind the counter (although it was just a stupid frappe) but Baz couldn’t make out the words he was saying, or what she was saying back. All he registered was the screaming sound his mind was producing.

_Shit in a bucket._

_Simon Snow did not just walk in here. He didn’t._

Brushing himself off, he slowly got up from behind the counter. Sure enough, Simon Snow wasn’t at the door of the Starbucks anymore. Baz felt the bitter weight of disappointment and relief mixing in his stomach, until he heard a voice just to his left.

“The daily grind getting you down?”

Slowly, he turned to look at the boy, who looked even hotter in person. A  _real_ scream threatened to break free, but Baz controlled himself enough to say, “Was that supposed to be a pun? Because if it was, it was really bad.”

“Really? I like it a latté.”

He died a little bit inside. Of course, he was meeting Simon-bloody-Snow, the guy he had spent all night watching, only for his first impression to be tainted by him spilling coffee all over the floor.

He took a deep breath to compose himself, plastering a bored expression on his face. Calm down, Baz. “Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?”

“Can I get twenty pumpkin spice lattés, please?” He said, bouncing on his heels.

Baz’s jaw fell open. “Twenty?”

“Um… yes.”

“You don’t sound too sure about that.” He smirked.

“I’m sure.”

“NIALL!” he hollered over his shoulder. “WE NEED 20 PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES.”

“HOW MANY?!”

“TWENTY.”

An angry Niall poked his head out of the kitchen. “You better not be shitting me, Basil, because I swear that if I make twenty lattes only to discover it’s your idea of a joke-”

Simon waved awkwardly, clearly not liking all the attention he was now getting. “I ordered them.”

Niall shook his head in bafflement and went back to the coffee machine to start brewing the first of the numerous beverages.

They stood in silent for a few seconds. The whole time, Baz was thinking, “ _whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido_.”

“What are you planning on doing with 20 lattés?” He asked.

Simon grinned, looking almost shy. “Well, I… uh, I got this new game, and I’m planning to stay up and play it, so I figured I’ll need a lot of caffeine to get me through the night, right?”

Baz raised a single eyebrow. “Are you any good?” (He already knew the answer. He wasn’t.)

“I guess,” replied Simon with a shrug.

“I played a game called Slendytubbies a few days ago,” said Baz, fishing for a topic. This was a lie, obviously, but he knew for a fact that Simon had played it.

“Me too!” recognition was clear on his face. “Scared the crap out of me.”

“Did you win?”

“Yes,” lied Simon. Baz came close to snorting out loud - he had most definitely not won. The question was why he was lying about it.

They continued on like this until Niall shouted, “BASIL, COME HELP ME CARRY THESE!”

Niall was trying to carry at least 6 cups at once to the counter. Baz hurried to take half of them, ignoring Niall’s smart-ass comment (“ _Try not to drop them this time, dude_ ,”). He went back and forth until all twenty cups were on the counter in Styrofoam coffee holders. There were five of them. Poor Snow was trying to carry them all at once, and failing miserably.

“That’ll be $113,” he said, internally wincing at how expensive it was. However, Simon just pulled out his (full) wallet and slapped down $115.

“Thanks,” said Simon.

As he awkwardly tried to walk away with five carriers, Baz was screaming. He couldn’t let him walk away without saying something, anything…

“And for the record, you’re really bad at gaming, Snow.”

IDIOT. IDIOT. IDIOT. IDIOT-

Simon almost dropped one of his coffee-holders because of how fast he spun around. Luckily, Baz had fast reflexes from all the football he had played in high school. He caught it in midair before it went crashing to the floor.

“Damn it, people, what is with everyone dropping coffee today?” hollered Niall. “I’m done. I’m so done.” He stomped back into the kitchen.

Baz silently handed Simon his coffee again, a smirk tugging on his lips at the guy’s reaction.

“What did you say?”

Slowly, he said, “You’re really bad at gaming,” he smirked, " _Snow._ "

A slow grin took over the other boy’s face. It made him light up like the sun. Baz swallowed. “You think you can do better?”

Now, Baz had never been into video games. His father was a traditionalist who thought it was important that kids don’t get corrupted by media, and all that jazz. However, he figured he couldn’t be much worse than Simon Snow. “I know I can do better.”

“Fine,” he said, the grin somehow getting wider. “You, me, gaming battle to the death.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of at work right now.”

His face falls, then brightening again. He grabs a napkin and takes a pen from his jacket pocket, scribbles something down on it, and throws it at Baz. “See you,” with a final grin, he walks out the door, still balancing the different coffee-trays.

* * *

Written on the napkin is, “We finish this once and for all when you finish work” and an address. Presumably, Simon’s.

This time, Baz couldn't hold in his squeal. He just counted his lucky stars that nobody had been around to hear it - until he heard Niall say, "What the fuck, Baz," from the kitchen. 

* * *

Simon couldn’t stop grinning all the way home. If he were to bet, he would say that Basil was the hot-Starbucks-barista Agatha had been talking about. But when he said he was bad at gaming, did that mean he watched his channel? Or was it just a casual insult?

The first thing he did when he got home was open youtube on his laptop and check his subscribers. He was close to two million. Surprisingly, he hadn’t even noticed. That wasn’t what he was looking for, though. He scrolled through the list until one name in particular caught his eye-

“BazBlogs.”

He grinned even harder. Then, it slowly morphed into a frown.

Did this mean he knew that Simon was lying about winning the Slendytubby game?

* * *

Regardless of what the napkin said, Baz didn’t go to Simon’s flat when he got off work. Instead, he sprinted home as fast as he could, and spent about half an hour trying to make himself look his best. Mordelia was having a field day with it.

“Are you fixing your hair, Baz?” she cackled.

“Go away!” he hollered.

“Crowley, my brother is practically a fainting maid!” she said, shrieking with laughter. Baz wanted to throttle her. Luckily for her, he didn’t want to keep Simon waiting, so there wasn’t time. He jumped in his car and took off.

* * *

Penelope must have known something was up, because when she saw Simon, she offered to spend the night at Agatha’s house. He gladly accepted.

“Who is it that you’re waiting for?” she asked.

“Nobody important…” he said.

“It must be pretty important is you’re fixing your hair for her!” Penny teased. Simon immediately dropped the brush he was tearing through his blonde locks.

“It’s just some guy I met at Starbucks who thought he was better than me at video games. No big deal.”

Penelope raised her eyebrows. “A bloke?”

“Penny, it’s not like that.”

“Then why are you wearing your dress jeans?”

“I’m not!” Simon looked down at his legs and realized that, yes, he was actually wearing his best pair of jeans.

“Whatever you say, Simon,” she said. “I’m going to Agatha’s. Try not to get knocked up while I’m gone!”

He didn’t bother reminding her that it would be biologically impossible. She already knew, obviously. Penny just loved to tease him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 u fucking fucks,,, this was written about a year ago and i was just reminded that this story existed? looking back, i'm not too proud of it, but i might as well post it here in case anybody is interested! 
> 
> also, go check out my [snowbaz tumblr!](https://snowbazzledazzle.tumblr.com/) thanks!


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